Poetic Asides November 2013 Poem-A-Day Challenge – Day 13: a “self-help” poem
There’s something appearing on late night TV
meant for taking advantage of you and me.
Appealing to everyone’s vanity
are words nothing short of insanity:
“This one little pill will quickly erase
your need to keep shoving food in your face.
Don’t think of this thing as a bungee cord.
It’s a toner for abs that will make you adored.
For all you men who are losing your hair
there’s a simple procedure that’s meant to scare
the living bejeebers from everyone.
For hiding your wrinkles, there’s this little gun
filled with undefined goo that will stick to your hands.
And you will eat better with these pots and pans
that make healthy food in a lovely motif.
Plus a hundred more items beyond your belief.
But you must act fast, so please don’t delay.
We’ll send you some vitamins tasting like clay.
Now, don’t walk away (or be on your guard).
You only need give us your credit card.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got lots to improve.
There are muscles to tighten and fat to remove.
To do that, I must look inside of me
and not at the salesmen on late night TV.
© Susan Schoeffield